Exclusive Wrong Turn Clip

By RodneyHatfieldJr for Movies

*Just the sopranos* Country roads, take me home

To the place I belong

*Everyone* West Virginia, mountain momma

Take me home, country roads.

We are only a few days away from the premiere of the rebooted Wrong Turn. Why is that significant? Because it is cheesy wonderful utter nonsense filled with the dumbest possible victims. Basically, it is Friday the 13th with hillbillies. It’s boobs and blood. We need movies that are not all serious.  Like Friday the 13th it is rare to encounter someone who doesn’t like some part of the franchise or at least the character of Jason. And let’s face it; those movies are B quality at best. Well except Goes to Hell, they should burn every copy of that monstrosity. Or better yet, destroy all the copies but glue the last 10 seconds onto the ending of Part VIII so we still get FvJ. Naturally, I’m joking(not about the whole franchise, just JGH). We all love different things and that is good. So let's look at the new exclusive clip from the movie. SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!! Stop reading if you don’t want to know anything.

No joke, Spoilers.

First, let me mention the scenery not just from this scene but the whole franchise is absolutely beautiful. The locations are where you would want to go on vacation to get away from the trials of life. Now for the trailer. It did not disappoint me at all. I wanted cheese and brain dead moron victims and from the clip, it has an abundance of it. We are in for some fun.

Let's break down what we see. Where should I start? A bunch of young people walking in the woods where intelligence, normal physics, and laws of the universe bend to further the story for the sake of gore. I love the cam video girl. You know Velma is going to lose those glasses. When she hears a noise and automatically throws up her camera to record. We meet the rolling tree of death. Cheesy movie logic: Rolling tree of death coming towards you, what do you do? Answer: Run in the corresponding direction the rolling tree of death is going. They conducted the squirrel's logical way of escape. Why didn’t anyone run left or right? How about just jump. Do they not teach jumping in school now? I guess I can understand a 17-18inch diameter 30 feet long tree rolling down the mountain, you run away. I will allow them to run down the hill. They were surprised. Just remember kids, if a bear, angry husband, or rolling tree of death is coming downhill at you, DO NOT RUN DOWN THE HILL. They all will catch and turn you into hamburger meat.

But let's not forget the gargantuan elephant or should I say elm tree they stop in front of and behind the small grove of beech trees. Is the rolling tree of death magical? Did it phase through all those trees that were around 4 feet apart that the people were bouncing off of like an 8 ball on a billiards table? I blame the lazy killers. They should have clear cut that hillside so the tree would have rolled freely. Furthermore, as if by magic(Holy Moly, it might be magic), every one of them falls and bounce off trees and stumps like one of those wacky bouncy balls we use to get as kids from the coin vending machines. Regardless, after the rollercoaster of editing shots, we see Mr. Backpack get a face full of rolling tree of death. So basic, so brutal, yet so very satisfying. 

Like I have said for the whole franchise, these are movies for entertainment. These are B grade movies made for B grade fans. You turn your brain off, grab a snack(s), your favorite beverage, and enjoy the carnage. The story, or acting, doesn’t matter. We are here for the body count. If I can get a few laughs, a few Ohhh’s, and not finding myself looking at my watch to see how long I have left then it is an entertaining movie. The movie is R-rated for strong bloody violence, grisly images, and pervasive(strong) language and opens on January 26. So grab your floppy hillbilly hat and enjoy some West Virginia carnage.

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